What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
