"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
