I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
