I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Randomize
