It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
