You're earring is so big in my mouth
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Randomize
