Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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