There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
