yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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