just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize