Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Randomize
