office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
