She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
