Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
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