I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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