When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
