my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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