I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
