Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
