Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
