Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Randomize
