Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
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