apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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