i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
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