Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
