In the future we'll all be gay
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
A bitchslap is in order.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
