you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
