this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
i think my mom watched the whole time
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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