I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Randomize
