I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I look better un-naked...
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
