I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
don't judge my taste in strippers
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
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