she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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