Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
