Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
he wants to bone in the snuggie
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
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