OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
