He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
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