I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize