I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Randomize
