can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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