Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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