Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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