and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Randomize
