I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I wish there were birth control emojis
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
