My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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