11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
