I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize