You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Randomize
