Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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