You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
