proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
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