i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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