I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I just want nice things and good sex
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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