It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
