Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
