you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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