we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize